Week 4

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Week 4 Recap

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the scoreboard

1. Joe Didn’t Know116.08106.96Davis “Davis Clark” ClarkZach Karalisdef.John Mastascusa

   First up, friend. ZACH WINS! Joe Didn't Know is off the schneid, eh. Bijan 27.7, Malik Nabers 23.2, Goff 22.48, and Terry McLaurin started for zero and it didn't matter. Still the number four waiver spot, still zero dollars spent, buddy, but a W is a W. The puffer jacket's first loss of the year. Tee Higgins 26.7, Chris Olave 19.6, and John started Tyjae Spears for 1.6 and the Eagles defense for 2. Lost by nine, guy. Three and one. Still beats three and eleven, John.

2. Noah's Nuggets140.68114.42Unaware of JoshJacobs SituationChris Rodgersdef.Connor Reardon

   The baby gets his first W, eh! Kyren Williams, 36.7. Down 20-10 at halftime in Philly, Kyren scored from 4 yards oot, then scored the go-ahead touchdown from the 7 with a minute left. Two touchdowns, 10 catches, Rams win 24-20. And who was the Eagles quarterback on the wrong end of that, buddy? Jalen Hurts. Connor's quarterback. The baby's running back beat Connor's quarterback in real life AND in this league, guy. Puka 27.7, Carnell Tate 21.5. Connor got 30.8 from Nico Collins, started one of his two new defenses, the Jaguars, for 4, and Josh Jacobs scored zero on the bench again. Still unaware, friend.

3. Meatball Thunder139.32112.26Chef TiniMatt Garveydef.Kyle Lentini

   Upset alert, eh! Chef was a 186 favorite in my book and Garvey won by TWENTY-SEVEN. Kyle Monangai, an eighth-round pick, 30 carries, 146 yards, two touchdowns against the Jets. 28 points in the flex, buddy. Burrow 25.72. And over in that same Bengals game, Ja'Marr Chase got his facemask pulled, hit his head on the turf, and left in the first half with a concussion. Three catches, 27 yards, 5.7 points. Chef had Javonte Williams 31.3 and Kenneth Walker 30.9, sixty-two points of running backs, the RB soup was HOT, guy, and he still lost. Rome Odunze 15.4 on the bench, Kalif Raymond started for 2.6. Sorry, Chef. I owe ya another one. Garvey's 2-and-2, friend. Gibbs had 17.7 and they won anyway.

4. Team Moroney119.1687.4Griddy GodMatt Dignandef.Quenten Harrell

   Team Moroney is 3-and-1, eh! And Dignan started the RIGHT quarterback, buddy. Bryce Young, 25.46, Geno on the bench for 10.76. I'm proud of ya, Matt. Will Reichard kicked for 19, James Cook 16.3. Quenten? Zero and FOUR, guy. Only winless team left. He benched C.J. Stroud's 27.08 for Mahomes's 21, benched Brian Robinson's 25.7 and started TreVeyon Henderson for 4.2. And remember the big fix from last week? The Jets defense? Zero points, friend. The Bears ran 30 times for 146 yards on 'em with Garvey's guy. Justin Jefferson missed the game with a sprained ankle. Still no griddy, buddy.

5. Woolbinkie6969149.9286.64Booty JuicersAaron Todddef.Danny McDermott

   Okay, buddy. I said last week if Danny starts Shough, I'm takin' the points. DANNY STARTED SHOUGH. First time all year, eh. Shough scored 17.94. And Drake Maye, on the bench, went 22 of 37 for 269 yards, three touchdowns, 54 more on the ground, and hit the game-winner with a minute 50 left to hand the Bills their first loss. 32.16, benched. Three weeks the autopick sat and scored, and the one week Danny plays him, Maye goes off. Saquon got hurt in the first quarter, hamstring, 2 points. Lost by SIXTY-THREE, guy. And the commish? CeeDee Lamb caught 17 balls for 189 yards and the game-winning touchdown with 40 seconds left in Houston. 41.3. Four and oh, friend. I don't wanna talk aboot it.

6. Tender Tugdowns95.7294.28$hit boyzJustin Mancovskydef.Patrick Rodgers

   Closest game of the week, buddy. One point FORTY-FOUR. Justin left Romeo Doubs 23.8, Rhamondre 18.4 and Brenton Strange 16.5 on the bench, started Rashee Rice for zero and Kelce for 3.5, and won anyway, because the champ did something worse. Emanuel Wilson, 21 carries, 81 yards, a rushing touchdown and a 23-yard receiving touchdown in Seattle's win over the Chargers. 27 points. On Patrick's BENCH, eh. Ladd McConkey started for zero, Parker Washington 2, the Bills defense 1. And Wilson's touchdown catch? Thrown by Sam Darnold, guy. Justin's backup quarterback. Justin's bench threw a touchdown to Patrick's bench, and Justin won by a point and a half. The defending champ is 1-and-3, friend.

7. Goblin Mode161.48142.2bucketsMCnidasMichael Moroneydef.Shane Farley

   And the LOCK, buddy! Goblin Mode cashes, I'm TWO AND OH. Sunday night, Panthers beat the Lions 32-26, and Tetairoa McMillan caught 14 passes for 192 yards and two touchdowns. Career highs. 45.2 points, eh. And who threw 'em? Bryce Young. TEAM MORONEY'S quarterback. The goblin's receiver and Dignan's quarterback, guy, the whole family ate on Sunday night. The goblin finally benched Marvin Harrison, got 22.4 from LaPorta, 18 from Jake Bates, 12 from the Seahawks defense, and scored 161.48, second-highest score of the season. Shane put up 142, third-best of the week, Chuba Hubbard 25.9 in that same Panthers game, and lost by nineteen. Sorry, gallon man. The A grade lives, friend. Thanksgiving is SAVED.

the hardware

1. 27.0
   Bench Blunder$hit boyzPatrick Rodgers

   Bench Blunder of the Week: the defending champ, $hit boyz. Emanuel Wilson, two touchdowns, 27 points, on the bench. Lost by 1.44. Put him in for Jaylen Waddle at flex and Patrick wins by eleven, buddy. The busiest waiver guy in the league finally had the right guy on his roster, and he left him there. Danny benched Maye's 32 too, eh, but he lost by 63. Patrick lost by a point and a half. That's the blunder, guy.

2. 86.64
   Crouton of the WeekBooty JuicersDanny McDermott

   Crouton of the Week: Booty Juicers, 86.64. Lowest score of the week by 76 hundredths, friend. Danny did what everybody told him to do. He started Shough. And the universe said no, buddy. Maye 32 on the bench, Saquon hurt in the first quarter, Davante Adams 7.2. He's 1-and-3. He sealed a 93-minute ice cream time, eh. He knows aboot doomsday. Sorry, Danny.

3. 161.48
   Top DawgGoblin ModeMichael Moroney

   And Top Dawg of Week Four: Goblin Mode, 161.48! Not the commish, buddy! I don't have to be nice to anybody this week! It's FAMILY, guy. The fella I gave an A. McMillan 45.2, Lamar 22.88, LaPorta 22.4, and he's 2-and-2 after starting 0-and-2. I said he was DUE, friend. Congratulations, goblin. See ya at Thanksgiving, eh.

moroney’s book — week 5 lines

Projections are ESPN’s. The lines are Moroney’s and pay out in nothing. Please gamble irresponsibly.

standings after week 4

Scores are ESPN’s. The commentary is Moroney’s. Sorted by record, then points for.